


Somethin'

by jovii



Category: The Walking Dead
Genre: Angst, Character Study, M/M, Spoilers for ep 6x12 Not Tomorrow Yet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-07
Updated: 2016-03-07
Packaged: 2018-05-25 09:32:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6189271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jovii/pseuds/jovii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daryl knows somethin' ain't right.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Somethin'

Somethin’ ain’t _right_. 

It’s in the feeling right under his heart, in his gut. Daryl doesn’t quite know what to say about it though. Or how to say it. Speakin’ up to Rick ain’t usually a problem, but speakin’ up when he’s not entirely sure if he agrees with Rick is another thing. 

But shit goes down with or without Daryl’s reservations. He’s there for Rick in the way that he’s always there for Rick- his right hand when he needs that, his conscious when Rick needs to hear that he’s being a dumbass. 

There’s shooting, and the feeling of the heated metal of the automatic rifle in his hand, and bullets pinging off every goddamn surface of the walls. There’s Rick’s grunt of concentration, and someone’s cry of pain when they get clipped. For Daryl, it’s just the thunderous beat of his heart as adrenaline makes his nuts crawl, makes his hairs stand straight up and his skin feel tight and weird. 

The silence is too silent after the ruckus of the fire alarm, and Daryl can feel his blood moving in his veins. His breath is too loud, and Daryl tries to gulp his panting so that he won’t seem off. For a second when Rick catches Daryl’s eye, he wants to throw the caution he’s hanging onto with fingers and toenails to the wind. He wants to push the other man against the wall and finally take what they’ve both been teasing with for so long. Maybe punish Rick, because after all that there’s still the feeling that something just ain’t quite jivin’; two puzzle pieces that almost match. 

But it’s not until he sees the disgust and shame on Glenn’s face that Daryl realizes what they really did. What they allowed to happen; pushed and encouraged like bullies in a school yard. Daryl remembers that feeling of horrified shock, the _did I really just kill a man?_ that resonates like some kind of bell that doesn’t ever stop ringing. It’s so loud and so encompassing that he felt it in his his back teeth, in the pull of the ground and the gentle sweep of a breeze. It never, ever left him and Daryl doesn’t think that it will _ever_. At least he hopes not. If he ever feels okay with killing who he’s killed, then he figures he’s no better than these assholes of Negan’s.

Daryl hasn’t been innocent in a very long time. Not in any of the ways that count. He and Merle weren’t good people before all this shit happened, and if Daryl tries to make amends for what he was by doing what he does now, then that’s his business. 

But Daryl knows that won’t ever forget the look on Glenn’s face. There’s no absolution for this. There is no forgiveness.

Rick’s arm brushes against his, and Daryl jerks his gaze from Glenn’s broken body language to look at their leader. He sees his own shame and sorrow reflected in Rick’s blue gaze. He sees the same disgust that they couldn’t protect Glenn from any of this, that they had to do what needed to be done. They’d needed Glenn’s steady hand, and his skill and competence. Like with most everything, they had to work together for what they wanted to accomplish anything in this new world. 

But that doesn’t make it _right_.


End file.
